Divorce vs. Separation

Divorce and separation are two very different legal terms that can have a significant impact on your life. If you are considering ending your marriage, it is important to understand the difference between these two options so that you can make the best decision for yourself and your family.

What is a separation?

A separation is when a married couple agrees to live apart. They are still legally married, but they are not living together as husband and wife. A separation can be temporary or permanent. 

There are two main types of separation: trial separation and permanent separation. A trial separation is a temporary arrangement, typically lasting for a few months or a year. During a trial separation, the couple is still legally married, but they are living apart to see if they can work things out. If they decide to reconcile, they can simply move back together. We have found trial separations without any guidance and focus typically end in divorce.

One type of trial separation is called a therapeutic separation. A therapeutic separation is training for a healthy marriage. We help you develop a professional team, and identify goals and benchmarks along the way as you learn how to have a marriage that is healthy and loving. The mediator acts as your main coach and helps with conflict, communication, and other areas of the marriage that may need attention. While you work with a mediator/coach, you each work on individual needs with a therapist. Sounds like a lot of work, right? We find couples who roll up their sleeves and fully engage with their mediator/coach and therapists, have a fighting chance to save their marriage. 

A permanent separation is a legal separation. Once a couple has decided to separate permanently, they will need to make arrangements for their finances, their living arrangements, and their children. The process for a legal separation is the same as a divorce except you are still married. Why would people want a legal separation? Sometimes they want to leave the door open to reconciliation while having peace of mind around finances or other concerns. Others want to retain a partner on a health insurance plan if the provider allows it. And for some, their religious beliefs and values determine the decision.

What is a divorce?

A divorce is the legal dissolution of a marriage. When a couple gets divorced, they are no longer legally married. This means that they are free to remarry and that their property and debts will be divided according to the law.

There are two main types of divorce: uncontested divorce and contested divorce. An uncontested divorce is a divorce in which the couple agrees on all of the terms of the divorce, such as child custody, child support, property division, and potential spousal support. A contested divorce is a divorce in which the couple cannot agree on one or more of the terms of the divorce. In a contested divorce, the couple will need to go to court to resolve their differences. The cost of a contested divorce is upwards of $10k-$15k per partner.

Mediation can be a valuable aid to resolving a contested or uncontested divorce outside of court. Lengthy battles, especially over custody, can destroy the co-parenting relationship and harm any children who are involved. Mediation saves couples thousands of dollars, whether contested or uncontested. And, mediation can foster a healthy relationship between ex-spouses going forward, making co-parenting relationships much easier. We work hard to retain a good parental relationship between parties so kids win!

What are the similarities between divorce and separation?

Both divorce and separation can have a significant impact on your life. They can both affect your finances, your living arrangements, and your relationships with your spouse and children.

What are the differences between divorce and separation?

The main difference between divorce and separation is that a divorce legally ends your marriage, while a separation does not. This means that if you separate, you can still reconcile with your spouse and get back together. However, if you get divorced, you cannot reconcile without getting remarried.

Another difference between divorce and a trial or therapeutic separation is time. A divorce takes longer due to all the decisions necessary during the divorce process. A trial or therapeutic separation only needs a few key decisions about money and kids made between partners usually memorized in a Memorandum of Understanding. 

The legal process of separation and divorce

The legal process of separation and divorce can vary depending on your state. However, there are some general steps that you will need to follow.

If you are separating, you will need to file a legal separation agreement with the court. This agreement will outline the terms of your separation, such as how you will divide your property and debts, and how you will care for your children.

If you are getting divorced, you will need to file for divorce with the court. The court will then schedule a hearing to determine the terms of your divorce. If you use mediation, many couples will make all the decisions necessary for divorce, and then submit the final pleadings to the court. 

The terms of your legal separation or divorce will be determined by the laws of your state. States vary in how to calculate child support and spousal support. The other aspects of divorce are fairly similar between states.

If you and your spouse cannot agree on the terms of your separation or divorce, you will need to go to court. The court will then make the decisions for you. Most couples use attorneys if they go to court.

The process of legal separation and divorce can be long and complex. It is important to talk to an attorney to discuss your options and to get legal advice. If you select mediation, the amount of time and cost is greatly reduced.

The financial implications of separation and divorce

Separation and divorce can have a significant impact on your finances. You will need to consider how you will divide your assets, such as your home, your vehicles, and your retirement savings. You will also need to consider how you will pay your debts.

If you have children, you will also need to consider child support. Child support is a payment that one parent makes to the other parent to help support the children. The amount of child support that you will pay or receive will be determined by the laws of your state.

The emotional impact of separation and divorce

Separation and divorce can be a very emotional experience. You may feel a range of emotions, such as sadness, anger, guilt, and anxiety. It is important to allow yourself to feel these emotions and to seek support from friends, family, or a therapist.

Which is right for you?

The decision of whether to separate or divorce is a personal one. There is no right or wrong answer, and the best decision for you will depend on your circumstances. If you are considering ending your marriage, it is important to talk to an attorney to discuss your options and to get legal advice. Mediation is a great option for many couples, saving them time and money. If there is disagreement between spouses, mediation may come in handy to help you reach a decision together with your spouse on what is best for your relationship. 

Here are some additional things to consider when deciding between separation and divorce:

• Your financial situation. A divorce can be expensive, so you will need to consider the financial implications of both options.
• Your children. If you have children, you will need to make decisions about child custody and support.
• Your religious beliefs. If you have religious beliefs that prevent you from getting divorced, you may want to consider separation as an alternative.
• Your emotional well-being. Ending a marriage can be a difficult and emotional process. You will need to decide what is best for your emotional health.

No matter which option you choose, it is important to remember that you are not alone. There are many resources available to help you through this difficult time.

Resources for people going through separation and divorce

There are many resources available to help people who are going through separation and divorce. These resources can provide you with information, support, and legal advice.

We offer a FREE 15-minute phone consultation to answer any questions. You might want to check out our blog – The Five Most Common Questions About Divorce with Children. 

Some of the available resources include:

• Your local court system. Your local court system may have a family law division that can provide you with information and resources.
• Your state bar association. Your state bar association may have a family law section that can provide you with information and referrals to attorneys.
• Nonprofit organizations. Many nonprofit organizations provide support to people who are going through separation and divorce. These organizations can provide you with information, counseling, and financial assistance.
• We have also put together a list of professionals in Oregon and Washington that we recommend. 

If you are going through separation or divorce, it is important to remember that you are not alone. There are many resources available to help you through this difficult time.

Divorce and separation are two very different legal terms that can have a significant impact on your life. If you are considering ending your marriage, it is important to understand the difference between these two options so that you can make the best decision for yourself and your family.

What is a separation?

A separation is when a married couple agrees to live apart. They are still legally married, but they are not living together as husband and wife. A separation can be temporary or permanent. 

There are two main types of separation: trial separation and permanent separation. A trial separation is a temporary arrangement, typically lasting for a few months or a year. During a trial separation, the couple is still legally married, but they are living apart to see if they can work things out. If they decide to reconcile, they can simply move back together. We have found trial separations without any guidance and focus typically end in divorce.

One type of trial separation is called a therapeutic separation. A therapeutic separation is training for a healthy marriage. We help you develop a professional team, and identify goals and benchmarks along the way as you learn how to have a marriage that is healthy and loving. The mediator acts as your main coach and helps with conflict, communication, and other areas of the marriage that may need attention. While you work with a mediator/coach, you each work on individual needs with a therapist. Sounds like a lot of work, right? We find couples who roll up their sleeves and fully engage with their mediator/coach and therapists, have a fighting chance to save their marriage. 

A permanent separation is a legal separation. Once a couple has decided to separate permanently, they will need to make arrangements for their finances, their living arrangements, and their children. The process for a legal separation is the same as a divorce except you are still married. Why would people want a legal separation? Sometimes they want to leave the door open to reconciliation while having peace of mind around finances or other concerns. Others want to retain a partner on a health insurance plan if the provider allows it. And for some, their religious beliefs and values determine the decision.

What is a divorce?

A divorce is the legal dissolution of a marriage. When a couple gets divorced, they are no longer legally married. This means that they are free to remarry and that their property and debts will be divided according to the law.

There are two main types of divorce: uncontested divorce and contested divorce. An uncontested divorce is a divorce in which the couple agrees on all of the terms of the divorce, such as child custody, child support, property division, and potential spousal support. A contested divorce is a divorce in which the couple cannot agree on one or more of the terms of the divorce. In a contested divorce, the couple will need to go to court to resolve their differences. The cost of a contested divorce is upwards of $10k-$15k per partner.

Mediation can be a valuable aid to resolving a contested or uncontested divorce outside of court. Lengthy battles, especially over custody, can destroy the co-parenting relationship and harm any children who are involved. Mediation saves couples thousands of dollars, whether contested or uncontested. And, mediation can foster a healthy relationship between ex-spouses going forward, making co-parenting relationships much easier. We work hard to retain a good parental relationship between parties so kids win!

What are the similarities between divorce and separation?

Both divorce and separation can have a significant impact on your life. They can both affect your finances, your living arrangements, and your relationships with your spouse and children.

What are the differences between divorce and separation?

The main difference between divorce and separation is that a divorce legally ends your marriage, while a separation does not. This means that if you separate, you can still reconcile with your spouse and get back together. However, if you get divorced, you cannot reconcile without getting remarried.

Another difference between divorce and a trial or therapeutic separation is time. A divorce takes longer due to all the decisions necessary during the divorce process. A trial or therapeutic separation only needs a few key decisions about money and kids made between partners usually memorized in a Memorandum of Understanding. 

The legal process of separation and divorce

The legal process of separation and divorce can vary depending on your state. However, there are some general steps that you will need to follow.

If you are separating, you will need to file a legal separation agreement with the court. This agreement will outline the terms of your separation, such as how you will divide your property and debts, and how you will care for your children.

If you are getting divorced, you will need to file for divorce with the court. The court will then schedule a hearing to determine the terms of your divorce. If you use mediation, many couples will make all the decisions necessary for divorce, and then submit the final pleadings to the court. 

The terms of your legal separation or divorce will be determined by the laws of your state. States vary in how to calculate child support and spousal support. The other aspects of divorce are fairly similar between states.

If you and your spouse cannot agree on the terms of your separation or divorce, you will need to go to court. The court will then make the decisions for you. Most couples use attorneys if they go to court.

The process of legal separation and divorce can be long and complex. It is important to talk to an attorney to discuss your options and to get legal advice. If you select mediation, the amount of time and cost is greatly reduced.

The financial implications of separation and divorce

Separation and divorce can have a significant impact on your finances. You will need to consider how you will divide your assets, such as your home, your vehicles, and your retirement savings. You will also need to consider how you will pay your debts.

If you have children, you will also need to consider child support. Child support is a payment that one parent makes to the other parent to help support the children. The amount of child support that you will pay or receive will be determined by the laws of your state.

The emotional impact of separation and divorce

Separation and divorce can be a very emotional experience. You may feel a range of emotions, such as sadness, anger, guilt, and anxiety. It is important to allow yourself to feel these emotions and to seek support from friends, family, or a therapist.

Which is right for you?

The decision of whether to separate or divorce is a personal one. There is no right or wrong answer, and the best decision for you will depend on your circumstances. If you are considering ending your marriage, it is important to talk to an attorney to discuss your options and to get legal advice. Mediation is a great option for many couples, saving them time and money. If there is disagreement between spouses, mediation may come in handy to help you reach a decision together with your spouse on what is best for your relationship. 

Here are some additional things to consider when deciding between separation and divorce:

• Your financial situation. A divorce can be expensive, so you will need to consider the financial implications of both options.
• Your children. If you have children, you will need to make decisions about child custody and support.
• Your religious beliefs. If you have religious beliefs that prevent you from getting divorced, you may want to consider separation as an alternative.
• Your emotional well-being. Ending a marriage can be a difficult and emotional process. You will need to decide what is best for your emotional health.

No matter which option you choose, it is important to remember that you are not alone. There are many resources available to help you through this difficult time.

Resources for people going through separation and divorce

There are many resources available to help people who are going through separation and divorce. These resources can provide you with information, support, and legal advice.

We offer a FREE 15-minute phone consultation to answer any questions. You might want to check out our blog – The Five Most Common Questions About Divorce with Children. 

Some of the available resources include:

• Your local court system. Your local court system may have a family law division that can provide you with information and resources.
• Your state bar association. Your state bar association may have a family law section that can provide you with information and referrals to attorneys.
• Nonprofit organizations. Many nonprofit organizations provide support to people who are going through separation and divorce. These organizations can provide you with information, counseling, and financial assistance.
• We have also put together a list of professionals in Oregon and Washington that we recommend. 

If you are going through separation or divorce, it is important to remember that you are not alone. There are many resources available to help you through this difficult time.